MEMORIES

... of holding your hand while walking
and sitting on your shoulders when tired
... of receiving your little sketches with every letter
and waiting for the weekends to see you
... of getting to sleep in your room ever saturday
and watching tv through the night
... of waking up early to watch you play cricket
and crying when you lost a game
... of building a "ravan" for dussera
and getting totally dirty at holi
... of sketching on the floor while you worked
and holding them up for appreciation
... of never getting to say goodbye properly
and that "I Love You" more than ever
... of not being able to hug you when I'm scared
yet always know that you're there

I miss you... I hope you're proud of me!

when you lose your faith... again

i was a seven year old girl who stopped believing in god... who started to question his existence... or rather... questioned his actions... there were so many unanswered questions which grew along with the years... that soon i was a girl without faith...
and then... over the last few years... i started looking without the accusations... and found answers in simple things... the world through the eyes of another five year old girl taught me to open my mind... and conversations with special people taught me to believe again...
today... i find myself losing that faith again... as i lose the people who i believe in... or rather... who taught me to believe...
will i ever find it again?

ugh!

There is nothing worse than finally finding the courage to write about your feelings and just as you push "PUBLISH" the wifi disconnects and you lose your text... well... the feelings are still there... i'll put them down onto paper again a little later.